What’s a helles lager? This is a helles lager. A helles lager is a lighter beer; helles is German for light, and this one’s got a bit of smoke, which is not normal, but it seems normal to me. Sometimes you lose track of what’s normal. Does it matter? I argue that it doesn’t. Does a strongman contemplate what is normal strength, and adjust his performance to align with normal? Well, maybe when opening a bag of chips, but not otherwise. Let’s not trifle with being normal. Let this be your encouragement to follow your path, and I hope that path is not painful. Sinners are welcome here. Helles For Sinners overall score = 4.7 smokestacks out of 7. Chips all over the damn place.
| Brewer | Logsdon Farmhouse Ales |
| Beer Name | Helles for Sinners |
| Brewer’s Description | Lightly smoked Helles lager, brewed with Oregon State Homebrewer Of The Year Russel Berger. Inspired by Aecht Schlenkerla Helles Lagerbier. Classic Pilsner malt profile and Bavarian yeast strain balanced by Smaragd hops and 10% beechwood smoked malt. Prost! |
| Food Pairings | Anything you cooked on a charcoal grill. |
| Brewer Location | Oregon |
| Alcohol content by volume | 5% |
| IBU (International Bitterness Units) | 15 |
| Beer opacity rate 1 – 7 (light – dark) | 2 |
| Smell smoke? 1 – 7 (No – George Burns) | 3 |
| Smokepower taste: 1 – 7 Smokestacks | 4 |
| Sausage detection? Y or N | N |
| Beer thickness 1-7 (water – used motor oil) | 2 |
| Foaminess 1-7 (thin ring – rabid dogs mouth) | 4 |
| Overall Happiness Rating: 1-7 (low – high) | 4.7 |
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