If you must put the word hair in the name of your beer, write it like Pipeworks has and make it illegible. The Long Hair Affair is a kolsch beer brewed with hemp seeds and mesquite honey, fermented in oak. I spotted the word mesquite on the side of this bottle and assumed it referred to mesquite smoked honey, and maybe it does; Pipeworks wrote “phantom note of smoke” on the label. And a phantom note is about all I could pull out of this beer, although honey and oak are clearly present, and unappealing. This beer is not good and its giving me a headache. Why did Freigeist get involved with this beer? I’ll just assume it is mesquite smoked honey, that was eaten by yeast, and pooped out alcohol. Congratulations, you took a long strange trip to a shit destination. Final smoke metric = 1.8 smokestacks out of 7.
| Brewer | Pipeworks |
| Beer Name | The Long Hair Affair |
| Brewer’s Description | In collaboration with Freigeist Bierkultur in Germany and Local Option, we’ve brewed a truly devastatingly psychedelic kolsch with a phantom note of smoke. Serve in your favorite stein while listening to Rammenstein, Bye, bye! |
| Food Pairings | Advil |
| Brewery Location | Chicago, IL |
| Alcohol content by volume | 6.0% |
| IBU (International Bitterness Units) | 40 |
| Beer opacity rate 1 – 7 (light – dark) | 2.4 |
| Smell smoke? 1 – 7 (No – George Burns) | 1.5 |
| Sausage detection? Y or N | N |
| Smokepower taste: 1 – 7 Smokestacks | 1.25 |
| Beer thickness 1-7 (water – used motor oil) | 2.2 |
| Overall Happiness: 1 – 7 (sad – happy) | 1.8 |
Here’s their stupid website:
SmokeBeerMinistry 