Pipeworks – The Long Hair Affair – 1.8 smokestacks out of 7


If you must put the word hair in the name of your beer, write it like Pipeworks has and make it illegible. The Long Hair Affair is a kolsch beer brewed with hemp seeds and mesquite honey, fermented in oak. I spotted the word mesquite on the side of this bottle and assumed it referred to mesquite smoked honey, and maybe it does; Pipeworks wrote “phantom note of smoke” on the label. And a phantom note is about all I could pull out of this beer, although honey and oak are clearly present, and unappealing. This beer is not good and its giving me a headache. Why did Freigeist get involved with this beer? I’ll just assume it is mesquite smoked honey, that was eaten by yeast, and pooped out alcohol. Congratulations, you took a long strange trip to a shit destination. Final smoke metric = 1.8 smokestacks out of 7.

Brewer Pipeworks
Beer Name The Long Hair Affair
Brewer’s Description In collaboration with Freigeist Bierkultur in Germany and Local Option, we’ve brewed a truly devastatingly psychedelic kolsch with a phantom note of smoke. Serve in your favorite stein while listening to Rammenstein, Bye, bye!
Food Pairings Advil
Brewery Location Chicago, IL
Alcohol content by volume 6.0%
IBU (International Bitterness Units) 40
Beer opacity rate 1 – 7 (light – dark) 2.4
Smell smoke? 1 – 7 (No – George Burns) 1.5
Sausage detection? Y or N N
Smokepower taste: 1 – 7 Smokestacks 1.25
Beer thickness 1-7 (water – used motor oil) 2.2
Overall Happiness: 1 – 7 (sad – happy) 1.8

Here’s their stupid website:


About SmokeBeerMinistry

I like beers that taste like smoke.
This entry was posted in Beer, Educate, Enlighten, rauchbier, Smokebeer and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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