Jackie O’s – Abandon the Halogens – 6 Smokestacks of happiness

Jackie O’s Abandon the Halogens, and some hoodoo for your soul.

BOOZY! This beer is boozy. To the tune of 14.5%. Oh, I love my alcohol. Why do we try so hard at our jobs, do so well with our tasks, save the company so much money, just to watch Bushy, that lazy SOB, get an award? Who even nominated him for that? His biggest win this year was finding his spitter on the back of the toilet which he forgot about two days ago. Oh, Alcohol, you get me. Embrace the chaos. Things keep happening. There are no reasons. And I have my cool nights, fires, incense, Mongolian folk-metal throat singing music, and alcohol. The beer? Tastes more like BCBS than anything I’ve ever had. This beer is great. This beer is sweet, slightly smoky, pours like syrup, dark as night, and I like it so much. I originally wrote this down as a 5.8 smokestack, but the written word was so glowing, that I bumped it up to a 6. The all too rare 6 out of 7 Smokestack rating. Just do a good job because it matters to you. Alcohol is our reward.

BrewerJackie O’s
Beer NameAbandon the Halogens
Brewer’s DescriptionAfter aging in bourbon barrels for 14 months, Abandon the Halogens packs heavy notes of nutty chocolate and perfectly toasted marshmallows. Brewed with an exorbitant amount of Northwestern Meadowfoam honey and the gentlest sprinkle of smoked malt, this decadent stout pairs best with a roaring fire on a cool evening.
Food PairingsChocolate, then Abandon the Halogens, then a cigar. That’s a decadent, 2 hour, non-meal related event.
Brewer LocationAthens, Ohio
Alcohol content by volume14.5% this is not a typo
IBU (International Bitterness Units)zilch
Beer opacity rate 1 – 7 (light – dark)7
Smell smoke? 1 – 7 (No – George Burns)2
Smokepower taste: 1 – 7 Smokestacks3
Sausage detection? Y or NN
Beer thickness 1-7 (water – used motor oil)6
Foaminess 1-7 (thin ring – rabid dogs mouth)2.5
Overall Happiness Rating: 1-7 (low – high)6
Omega < -1? Time travel? Mind control.

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About SmokeBeerMinistry

I like beers that taste like smoke.
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